Friday, October 23, 2009

"We're going to look like Burt's Bees!"

In the South we always curse the humidity, we grunt, gripe, and grapple with how to deal with it and wander what life would be like without it. Well, I will tell you what life would be like without it. In the words of my aunt, Pam, we'd all look like Burt's Bees.

There is something quite special about being a female from the South. We "Southern Belles" have something that women in other parts of America do not. And we owe all of it (or at least most of it) to the sun and even more so to the HUMIDITY. In the northern parts of the U.S., the air is dry, cold, and basically a weapon of destruction to the human body. I visited Chicago in 2008, and it took at least a month for the southern air to "fix" what the northern climate had done to my skin. There is not enough lotion in the world to keep your skin from drying out here.
And it shows. The females here, no disrepect or malicious intent ladies, are very nomadic looking. With large features that are hard and worn from the climate, these ladies do not look in the least, feminine. I don't think I have ever appreciated being southern as much as during my current visit to Minnesota.

And where are all the blonde's? Not here.
Although the area may be lacking blonde females, the blonde sterotype is still very much pervasive. We went to catch the local public bus yesterday afternoon. The bus stop has various posts where mulitple buses pick-up. We were trying to find where the bus picked up for route 7A-The Mall, ofcourse. We found routes 7, 7N, 7B, but no 7A. I am very skilled at reading maps, probably due to growing up with a mother who was not skilled, so it was up to me to read a map if I wanted to make it to or from somewhere. I knew where the bus was supposed to pick up, but there was not a 7A bus route sign posted anywhere. So I asked two bus drivers who were enjoying a quick smoke break where the 7A route picked up. This is how the conversation went:

"Hi, excuse me, we are looking for 7A."
(Bus driver #1 speaks to Bus driver #2 in another language then looks back at me)
Driver #1: "Which route is that?"
Me:"Umm, the mall..." (at this point I knew exactly what they were thinking)
Driver #1 to Driver #2: "Yea, Mall..." (He turned to the other driver and said this as though to confirm what they already thought.)

They gave us the directions to the bus route and as we walked away I knew the blonde stereotype was trailing close behind. I do acknowledge that we were asking a seemingly dumb question, but in our defense, if the bus stop is labeled with the routes, and the one that you are tryinig to find is not listed then it is not absurd to assume that the route you are looking for will be listed somewhere and that where you are is not the right place if it is not listed.

Although blondes are few and far between here, and the one's you do see are baaaddd bottle blondes at that, the sterotype lives on. How it survives I am not sure, but I guess these days it is the last thing I should worry about. Atleast I have the southern humidity to look forward to returning to soon. I may be blonde and people may assume that I've got rocks for brains, but atleast I don't look like Burt's Bees, yet. :)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

What words come to mind as I think about Rochester, Minnesota?
Clean, friendly, warm (yes I said warm, not cold), hungry, expensive, old people, and the 3 S's- shuttles, skyways, and shopping...

This town is by far one of the cleanest places I have visited, EVER. Probably because no one actually goes OUTSIDE. You can access most stores, businesses, restaurants, etc. via the subway or skyway. This probably explains why there are no "litter bugs" here. You can't throw things on the street if you never walk near it.

Everyone is so very friendly here. I would love to live here. Well, I would if it were located further south and no one had an annoying accent.

I packed warm clothes for my visit here. Sweaters, coats, boots, etc. But since you never have to go outside to get anywhere, I'm completely overdressed. They keep the thermostat on like 90 degrees. No wonder people can stand the cold up here, they never actually have to experience it. We can't figure out how to get the AC on in the hotel room so we have to keep the windows open so we don't have a heat stroke.

There is food EVERYWHERE here. At any moment you can catch a whiff of freshly baked pizza, cinnamon rolls, pastries, sandwhiches, fresh coffee, etc. etc. I think I've already gained a pound or two from eating everything that smells good.

There are shops all along the subway and skyway. So if you have a couple grand to throw around you can enjoy a nice shopping spree. Oh that's a nice coat, wait $300?, no thanks.

The only people I've seen here that are my age are working at the Quizno's and the Dairy Queen. Everyone else is carrying an AARP card and qualifies for Medicare.

The RTS (Rochester Transportation System) will take you to and from the Mayo Clinic. But unfortunately the one that goes to and from our hotel gets full easily so it is easier to walk. It's not like you have to walk outside, no way, nobody goes OUTSIDE in Rochester, duh. We have the skyway for walking, and on your way home you can grab a cinnamon roll, a pair of socks to keep your feet warm (incase you decide to be daring and venture outside), an $8 smoothie, and a Christmas ornament from the many many shops that you will pass on the 5 minute walk.

All in all I am enjoying Rochester, it is a very quaint little place.